Honey Santana—impassioned, willful, possibly bipolar, self-proclaimed “queen of lost causes”—has a scheme to help rid the world of irresponsibility, indifference, and dinnertime sales calls. She's taking rude, gullible Relentless, Inc., telemarketer Boyd Shreave and his less-than-enthusiastic mistress, Eugenie—the fifteen-minute-famous girlfriend of a tabloid murderer—into the wilderness of Florida's Ten Thousand IslandsÂ for a gentle lesson in civility. What she doesn't know is that she's being followed by her Honey-obsessed former employer, Piejack (whose mismatched fingers are proof that sexual harassment in the workplace is a bad idea). And he doesn't know he's being followed by Honey's still-smitten former drug-running ex-husband, Perry, and their wise-and-protective-way-beyond-his-years twelve-year-old-son, Fry. And when they all pull up on Dismal Key, they don't know they're intruding on Sammy Tigertail, a half white - half Seminole failed alligator wrestler, trying like hell to be a hermit despite the Florida State coed who's dying to be his hostage . . .
Will Honey be able to make a mensch of a “greedhead”? Will Fry be able to protect her from Piejack—and herself? Will Sammy achieve his true Seminole self? Will Eugenie ever get to the beach? Will the Everglades survive the wild humans? All the answers are revealed in the delectably outrageous mayhem that propels this novel to its Hiaasen-of-the-highest-order climax.
You know it's going to be a rough summer when you spend Father's Day visiting your dad in the local lockup.
Noah's dad is sure that the owner of the Coral Queen casino boat is flushing raw sewage into the harbor - which has made taking a dip at the local beach like swimming in a toilet. He can't prove it though, and so he decides that sinking the boat will make an effective statement. Right. The boat is pumped out and back in business within days and Noah's dad is stuck in the clink.
Now Noah is determined to succeed where his dad failed. He will prove that the Coral Queen is dumping illegally… somehow. His allies may not add up to much-his sister Abbey, an unreformed childhood biter; Lice Peeking, a greedy sot with poor hygiene; Shelly, a bartender and a woman scorned; and a mysterious pirate-but Noah's got a plan to flush this crook out into the open. A plan that should sink the crooked little casino, once and for all.
Roy Eberhardt is recently, and unhappily, arrived in Florida. 'Disney World is an armpit compared to Montana,' he announces. Roy's family moves a lot so he's used to the new-kid drill - and to bullies like Dana Matherson. And anyway, it's because of Dana that Roy gets to see the mysterious running boy - who runs away from the school bus and who has no books, no backpack and, most oddly, no shoes. Sensing a mystery Roy starts to trail the runner - a chase that will introduce him to many weird Floridian creatures: potty-trained alligators, some cute burrowing owls, a fake-fart champion, a sinister pancake PR man and some snakes with mysteriously sparkly tails. Suddenly life in Florida is looking up!
Beginning with "Welcome to South Florida", a chapter introducing such everyday events as animal sacrifice, riots at the beach, and a shootout over limes at the supermarket, this collection organizes over 200 columns into 18 chapters, chronicling events and defining the issues that have kept the South Florida melting pot bubbling throughout the '80s and '90s. An introductory essay provides an overview of Hiassen's career and outlines his principal concerns as a journalist.