Genre: Science, Education
Andrews McMeel Publishing and Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comic strips and #1 best-selling author of Dilbert humor books, have agreed to publish Mr. Adams' new project called . God's Debris is Scott's first non-Dilbert, non-humor effort. The author describes the book as "a thought experiment wrapped in a story. It's designed to make your brain spin around inside your skull." Some content of the book is nonfiction because the opinions and philosophies of the characters might have lasting impact on the reader. Others believe it is fiction because the characters don't exist.
Imagine that you meet a very old man who - you eventually realize - knows literally everything. Imagine that he explains for you the great mysteries of life: quantum physics, evolution, God, gravity, light, psychic phenomenon, and probability -- in a way so simple, so novel and so compelling that it all fits together and makes perfect sense. What does it feel like to suddenly understand everything? God's Debris isn't the final answer to the Big Questions. But it might be the most compelling vision of reality you will ever read. The thought experiment is this: Try to figure out what's wrong with the old man's explanation of reality. Share the book with your smart friends then discuss it later while enjoying a beverage.
The book was initially offered to the public as an e-book, and the book has since become the #1 best-selling e-book on the planet. Because of the e-book offering, the Internet is buzzing with comments from the book's fans.
A Sex Comedy
Strapped for cash after an unsuccessful search for her dream job in architecture, Emma Mayson takes a less-than glamorous position as a maid for a wealthy entrepreneur. The bright spot? Her new employer, Russell Carrick, is the picture of male perfection-his mere presence sends Emma reeling. But he’s also a total workaholic who has lost his zest for living. Or did he just misplace it? Emma sets aside her feather duster and her inhibitions to find out. Soon a transitory house-cleaning gig becomes a cushy role of well-paid mistress, as Emma rekindles her employer’s passion with a fantasy world of boundless pleasure. But then the unthinkable happens: She falls for Russell. Having already fulfilled his primal desires, can she make him see her as more than a plaything?
Genre: Mystery and thrillers
About The Series: Steve Victor is a man who studies sex. He studies it from all angles as well as upside-down and right-side-up. He not only studies it, he loves it and that makes his research even more fun. He is also the one-man organization known as O.R.G.Y. O.R.G.Y. stands for, according to Victor, the Organization for the Rational Guidance of Youth. He named it that because having a name that correctly indicated the true purpose of studying sex would likely get too many doors shut in his face and to Victor, the open doors meant more chances for money and the real meaning of Obtaining Research Grants for Yours truly. While Victor freely admits that he is working hard for grant money to continue his amazing life style, grants are not his only source of income for as he travels about the world, he also does odd jobs here and there for a 'most secret of American spy organizations'. This unnamed agency, which is definitely not the CIA, might send him to various action spots in the world but it is his lust that makes the spots get active.
From shoot-outs at funerals to dead men screaming and runaway corpses, undertakers have plenty of unusual stories to tell—and a special way of telling them.
In this macabre and moving compilation, funeral directors across the country share their most embarrassing, jaw-dropping, irreverent, and deeply poignant stories about life at death’s door. Discover what scares them and what moves them to tears. Learn about rookie mistakes and why death sometimes calls for duct tape.
Enjoy tales of the dearly departed spending eternity naked from the waist down and getting bottled and corked—in a wine bottle. And then meet their families—the weepers, the punchers, the stolidly dignified, and the ones who deliver their dead mother in a pickup truck.
If there’s one thing undertakers know, it’s that death drives people crazy. These are the best “bodies of work” from America’s darkest profession.
“Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book.”
“As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral.”
“Alternately poignant and peculiar, is an insightful glimpse into the real lives of undertakers.”
“I have always had an insatiable curiosity of anything that smacks of the tawdry. I suppose the ‘goings on’ around funeral parlors must fall under this category because I could not put this book down. Fascinating.”
“Curious, wildly honest stories that need to be told, but just not at the dinner table.”
Energy sources are massively depleted. The government is wasteful and incompetent. The economy is imploding, the environment is toxic, and international terrorism threatens our day-to-day lives. And gum sucks. It just . Who is responsible? Who made our world so dangerous, so unlivable, so stupid?
Matthew Vincent is unafraid to name names. Who’s to blame for the three-ounce rule on airplanes? Who came up with the bright idea of branding every single sports stadium? Who made curling an Olympic event? Which pope made celibacy mandatory? Who invented daylight saving time? (Who doesn’t hate daylight saving time?)
Here’s a book that’ll tell you who invented every unnecessary, annoying gadget that plagues modern life and haunts your dreams. It’s a book to keep in your bathroom for perusal before you end up having to drink out of your toilet bowl because there’s no potable water left in your hemisphere. Here’s a book that’ll tell you who ruined it for everyone.
“An uproariously funny, ad-hoc cultural history of humanity’s ability to ruin just about everything.”
“A terrific resource for the armchair finger pointer.”
Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s .) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
What’s a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You’ll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.
This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.
There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or “zed,” lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh (“If you experience an extreme freeze… your extremities should continue to function until they fall off”), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living (“The only thing more lethal than you is you on fire!”). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.
Benjamin Daniels is angry. He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.
A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can’t remember why he’s come to see the doctor. A woman with a common cold demanding (but not receiving) antibiotics. A man with a sore knee. A young woman who has been trying to conceive for a while but now finds herself pregnant and isn’t sure she wants to go through with it. A 7-year-old boy with “tummy aches” that don’t really exist.
These are his patients.
Fan favorite David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with this blistering sequel to the cult sensation , soon to be a movie starring Paul Giamatti
Originally released as an online serial where it received more than 70,000 downloads, has been described as a “Horrortacular”, an epic of "spectacular" horror that combines the laugh out loud humor of the best R-rated comedy, with the darkest terror of H.P. Lovecraft. The book went on to sell an additional 60,000 copies in all formats.
As the sequel opens, we find our heroes, David and John, again embroiled in a series of horrifying yet mind-bogglingly ridiculous events caused primarily by their own gross incompetence. The guys find that books and movies about zombies may have triggered a zombie apocalypse, despite a complete lack of zombies in the world. As they race against the clock to protect humanity from its own paranoia, they must ask themselves, who are the real monsters? Actually, that would be the shape-shifting horrors secretly taking over the world behind the scenes that, in the end, make John and Dave kind of wish it had been zombies after all.
Hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching, , the next thrilling installment, takes us for a wild ride with two slackers from the midwest who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse.
Countless writers and artists have spoken for a generation, but no one has done it quite like Chuck Klosterman. With an exhaustive knowledge of popular culture and an almost effortless ability to spin brilliant prose out of unlikely subject matter, Klosterman attacks the entire spectrum of postmodern America: reality TV, Internet porn, Pamela Anderson, literary Jesus freaks, and the real difference between apples and oranges (of which there is none). And don’t even get him started on his love life and the whole Harry-Met-Sally situation.
Whether deconstructing episodes or the artistic legacy of Billy Joel, the symbolic importance of or the Celtics/Lakers rivalry, Chuck will make you think, he’ll make you laugh, and he’ll drive you insane — usually all at once. is ostensibly about art, entertainment, infotainment, sports, politics, and kittens, but—really—it’s about us. All of us. As Klosterman realizes late at night, in the moment before he falls asleep, “In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever ‘in and of itself.’” Read to believe.
Just when you thought you’d accepted your own mortality…
• Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first.
• Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space!
• Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”
Let’s be honest—nobody has more fun than atheists. Don’t believe it? Well, consider this: For nonbelievers, every day you’re alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette—the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller—whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in will entertain zealots and skeptics alike. Whether he’s contemplating the possibility of life after death, deconstructing popular Christmas carols, or just calling bullsh*t on Donald Trump’s apprentice training, Jillette does not fail to shock and delight his readers. And as ever, underneath these rollicking rants lie a deeply personal philosophy and a generous spirit, which find joy and meaning in family, and peace in the simple beauty of the everyday. is a hysterical affirmation of life’s magic from one of the most distinctly perceptive and provocative humorists writing today.
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
“That woman was sexy…. Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”
“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar…. Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”
If you want to learn how to become a player, this book isn’t for you. To be a true player you have to treat women like objects; you can’t afford to care about their feelings. In other words—you have to be an asshole. There are enough assholes in the world; I don’t need to add to their numbers.
If you want to learn how to listen to women, how to become more caring and understanding—again—this book isn’t for you. I can only teach what I know and I don’t know how to listen, care, or be empathetic.
A nerd values his intellect over everything else. You can have any other trait, but if your brain is your defining characteristic, you’re a nerd. I’ll teach you how to use your best trait to pick up real girls in real places.
To use my methods, you must become a hero. A hero refuses to live a life of quiet desperation. At the end of his life, a hero regrets the things he’s done, not the things he hasn’t. He doesn’t regret NOT asking a girl out.
Most nerds avoid hard work. Smart lazy people use their intellect to avoid stressful situations. They choose the path of least resistance and then wonder why they accomplish nothing. Picking up real girls in real places is a contact sport. There will be pain. There is no easy path forward. If you aren’t brave enough to try, you’ll never have an opportunity to succeed. If you don’t have the fortitude to throw yourself back into the fray after you crash and burn, your journey will be over before it started. If you have what it takes to be a heroic nerd, you might want to read this book.
The first and best compendium of facts weirder than fiction, of intriguing information and must-talk-about trivia has spawned many imitators — but none as addictive or successful. For nearly three decades, the editors have been researching curious facts, unusual statistics and the incredible stories behind them. Now, the most entertaining and informative of these have been brought together in a thoroughly up-to-date edition. Published all over the world, and containing lists written specially for each country, this edition has something for everyone.
“You’ll Change Your Mind.” That’s what everyone says to Jen Kirkman— and countless women like her—when she confesses she doesn’t plan to have children. But you know what? It’s hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let’s face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool.
Jen’s stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), after which complete strangers constantly approach her and ask, “But who will take care of you when you’re old?” () Some insist, “You’d be such a great mom!” ()
Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show— and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends—Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate.
From the people who brought you the bestselling .
From stampeding nudes to inebriated teenagers, young nurse Michael Alexander never really knew what he was getting himself into. But now, sixteen years since he was first launched into his nursing career – as the only man in a gynaecology ward – he’s pretty much dealt with everything: Body parts that come off in his hands; Teenagers with phantom pregnancies; Doctors unable to tell the difference between their left and right; Violent drunks; Singing relatives; Sexism; …and a whole lot of nudity.
‘A fantastic read. Everything I had always suspected about nurses and so much more!’
‘An incredibly emotional journey.’
From the wicked imagination of award-winning writer Warren Ellis comes DEAD PIG COLLECTOR, a love story with a classic Ellis twist. So while it might be a love story, it’s also about killing people and disposing of their bodies in the most efficient manner possible.
DEAD PIG COLLECTOR introduces readers to Mister Sun, a very proficient businessman whose trade is the murder and spotless removal of human beings. Like any businessman, he knows each transaction is only as good as his client—and today’s client, in Los Angeles, has turned out to be so dangerously stupid that Mister Sun’s work and life are now in jeopardy…
Whether it involves musing on the inevitable and annoying ironies of everyday life, spouting off about anything and everything that gets his goat, or just plain figuring out new and improved ways to be difficult, George Carlin’s comedy is incorrigible and unmistakable. Following the runaway success of , Carlin now delivers all-new rants, what-ifs, observations, and out-and-out damnations in his cantankerous new collection, .
Carlin is at his best taking on the whole world and telling it like it is—or at least how he sees it. From the “Airline Announcements” section (“…here’s a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: . Bull****, my friend. It’s a near hit! A is a near miss.”) to “Cars and Driving” (“One of the first things they teach you in Driver’s Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you to put ’em at ten o’clock and two o’clock. Never mind that. I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I’m goin’.”), Carlin takes you on a wild ride through a life you’ll never look at the same way again. He identifies the experience of “vuja de”—“the distinct sense that, somehow, something that just happened has never happened before”—and posits existential questions including, “If there really are multiple universes, what do they call the thing they’re all a part of?” and “If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it’s hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?” Of course, it wouldn’t be George Carlin if he didn’t say a whole lot more that we just print here!
Including more lists of things he’s had just about enough of, and hilarious short takes that will put you in stitches, is Carlin’s comic opus on life at the dawn of the 21st century. In it, he asks, “Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don’t mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere.” Carlin has certainly started his own path—read and decide for yourself where he’s going.
‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever’s freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern.
Soon after began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): ‘Just take a day to think about it.’ This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today.
Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern:
‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’
Homework, hormones, heartache… middle school has no shortage of perils. Never fear, the authors of the best-selling Worst-Case Scenario series return with a survival guide for those who are facing—or just about to face—this big transitional time in school and life. The handbook is packed with funny-but-useful tips for the trickiest situations that crop up in middle school, like taking charge of a too-busy homework schedule, dealing with a cold shoulder from a friend who has suddenly become just too cool, avoiding common e-mail and cell phone disasters, and more.
Escape a stalled subway car or a swarm of pigeons; stop a runaway hot dog cart; defeat cockroaches—what every native and visitor needs to survive in the Big Apple.
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